Trunks/Vegeta/Liger/Zechs

Frieza

Ace

Sub

SolarSonic

Galactic Magi

Nemo

Magnus X Zero/GamefreakForeverX

 

[The Santa chronicles continue]

 

 

(Standing in front of a bound and gagged Santa in a magical container)

Frieza: Our ransom demands are so exuberently high this year, that I won't even bother to list them. We expect payment before Christmas eve, or there will be no presents.

Grinch: And a stocking full of misery for all! Mwahahahahahahaaaaaaa!!!!

Nemo: I held him down, while Sub beat him senseless!

Frieza: And the sooner he is rescued, the better. I shudder to think what will happen when one of us goes into a drunken rage.

Vegeta: WHY DID I GET COAL WHEN I WAS 5, DAMNIT!!!?!?!

Santa: (gagged) Mmmph mph mm!!

Vegeta: TALK DAMN YOU HOLIDAY PATRON SPIRIT!!!

(Beats Santa with crowbar)

Trunks: Atta boy, Dad.

Vegeta: You take that back!

(Punches Trunks, but misses and falls down drunkenly)

Frieza: ...we'll be right back.

 

(Karmis 0) I'll ransom you! Booyah!

*grabs a 6-pack of beer from SPA's collection and throws it in a lake*

Be free, wild beer! And shed many peppers, as the trout are frugal and weak! ...Told ya.

 

(Frieza's eyes grow wide and start to glow as he looks at Karmis)

Frieza: You... DIDN'T... just throw a 6-pack into the lake...

(Frieza's muscles bulge out suddenly as he quickly accelerates to his full power creating a small crater beneath him. He becomes surrounded by a purple aura and gets two cutting discs ready in his hands)

Karmis: Um... no... I just... hid it... I'll be right back.

(Karmis runs to lake as fast he can and dives down into it)

Karmis: Where did I drop that damn thing...

 

Ace: Alright I got me global TV feed

(Shiro, Ace's Tonberry sidekick is behind the camera filmin the fiasco.)

Shiro: Hurry up and do the announcement.

Ace: Keep your shroud on, turtle man. As you can see, the SPA has Sant Claus (he indicates the blue and beaten half corpse with the bloodied suit) and our demands are simple but diffcult. But if ya want the fat man back, I suggest ya cooperate.

Freiza: First demand; we want our patented drinks to be manufactured worldwide, regardless of the dangerous side effects.

Ace: Second; I want Sega to get up off their behinds and start makin' systems again. You guys got the best fighting games out there and I don't want Bill taking your place. It's wrong, MAN!!!

Shiro: Third; I want you humans to stop making foods with turtles in them.

(Everyone looks at him and sweatdrops)

Vegeta: Oookkkaayy...Moving right along...

 

(Karmis 0) *Comes back with one of those rings things for a six-pack and it's full of drunk fish*

Um...This is like the mafia right? I can pay y'all off, right? And um....LOOK!!!!! SOMETHING WHICH DESIRES THE ATTENTION OF YOU!!!!!!!!

*starts to run off*

 

(XRAMMSTIENX) Where was my barbie doll when i was 6?!?!?!
*looks around*
I meant sniper rifle, jeez.

 

(Nemo hands Frieza a paper)

Frieza: Uh...new additions to demands! We now require 3 hawian islands, 5 third world countries in south africa and the middle east, ...a gallon of paint?...and Mars...Mars filled with...syrup?

 

::walks in with a black T-shirt, sporting the "SPA 4 Life" motto::

Long time no see... It's been a while, hasn't it? Oh well... I'm back.

So.......is Santa ready for his painful electricution? ::holds up two needles::

 

Frieza: Just like last Christmas. I had a feeling you might show up, Solar! Great to see you! You've missed so much...ah well.

(Covers Santa's head with damp cloth)

Frieza: You may proceed...mwahahahahahahahahahaaaaaa!!!!!!

 

Yeah, I haven't been able to be around much.... but that might change

::stabs the needles into Santa, giving him a painful shock::

FRY PIGGY!!! THIS IS FOR NOT GETTING ME THAT DAMN PONY!!!

::looks at Frieza's:: ....shut up.... I want a pony... ::hands the needles to Frieza::

 

(Krankorx) Yay, now that santa is out of the picture we can take over the world with our elf magic!
Elf legion of doom 77461...assemble!
To be continued...

 

::continues to prod that fat oaf with the electric needles::

...where the hell is our ransom?

 

Grinch: Fearn not, friend, for we have a backup plan this year!

Solar: Who is this guy prancing around me?

Frieza: Oh, that's the Grinch. While we were after Santa, his forces were already assaulting the workshop, so we teamed up.

Solar: I don't know. Can we trust him?

Frieza: He brough Grinch Nog.

Grinch: It's 90% more intoxicating than alchoal!

Solar: Alright, he's cool.

(Solar gets drunk)

Ace: Since no one paid his bail last year, we've taken the workshop as colateral. If they won't pay, the elfs become our slaves, making beer for us year round, MAN!

Santa: Mhhoooooooooo!!!!!!

 

Nemo: SYRUP!

(Runs into back room. Comes out a few minutes later wearing a white bed sheet as a cape, a brown paper bag with eye holes on his head, and a white T-shirt with a picture of a taco on it)

Nemo: THE FIGHTING FAJITA DEMANDS TO KNOW WHY HE WAS NOT GIVEN SEVEN INDONESIAN (sue me for not knowing how to spell the stupid country[unless I spelt it right O.o]) DWARFS FOR CHRISTMAS LAST YEAR!

Santa (Still being shocked): AHHHHHH!!!

Nemo: ...Could you cut out the shocking for a moment?

Frieza: Whatever...

(Stops)

Nemo: Now... ANSWER THE FIGHTING FAJITA'S QUESTION, TUBBY LUBBY!

Santa: ...Does the Fighting Fajita always refer to himself in the third person?

Nemo: THE FIGHTING FAJITA DENIES SUCH FOOLISH BEHAVIOR HAS EVER BEEN DONE BY THE FIGHTING FAJITA!

Santa: ...

 

Nemo, you never cease to amaze me......

::sits a chair infront of Santa, sitting in it backwards::

...You want your freedom tubby?

Santa: ::nods::

::glares::

---
14 hours later
---
::still glaring::

Frieza: What is he doing?

Polar: Staring Contest..... ::chug beer::

Santa: .......::blinks::

HAAA!!! WHAT NOW SUCKA!!!! ::electrocutes Santa some more::

 

Ace walks around the frying fat man as he pleads through his gag. Solar continues to torture him even as Ace braces his hands around the red fool's collar.

"I wanna know one thing, you pathetic excuse for a patron saint...Why wasn't I ever on the good list." He backhanded the red oaf. "Huh? Tell me!!! I wanna know right now tell me, MAN!!!"

He continued to beat him senselessly until Solar wrenched him off.

"Relax, relax," Solar said, "We got all night to...aw crap. Now look what ya did. You knocked him out. Somebody get the smelling salts so I can keep shockin' him."

 

....damn.... outta smelling salts.... maybe if we get him drunk he'll wake up ::starts pouring a few hard liquors down Santa's throat::

 

Nemo: THE FIGHTING FAJITA KNOW JUST THE THING TO AWAKEN THE RED FAT MAN! *Digs into utility take-out-bag* CHICKEN FAJITA POWER! *Randomly throws slices of chicken, onions, vegetables, salsa, and tortillas at Santa*

 

(Frieza returns)

Frieza: Oh great. I leave you people alone with him for five minutes, and you kill him.

Solar: Ah, he's not dead. Just out...and spasming a little.

Nemo: We tried to wake him with some Ace drink.

Frieza: ...I'll go get the life support system. Ace, don't let these looneys near him until I get back.

 

....Ace, you're going to let me through or you'll fry like the pig himself ::grins, holding up the needles::

 

I keep getting this topic confused with the SGSB one.

Anyway... um... can't think of anything good right now.

 

(omg wtf Arch) I raised an eyebrow as soon as I saw something about dbz people, beer being wild, and some guy controlling karmis's character with his post

 

Nemo and Solar advance on Ace, each coming from either side. The echidna rips one chain away from the many that are around Santa and smacks them away. He looks around the room. Eyeing everyone angrily while twirling the chain.

Shiro: Anyone else wanna be a hero?

Everyone else in the workshop takes a step back

 

Fine! *Sits down by window and looks outside*

...

OH MY GOD! *Jumps up* ELF!!!

 

(Raven and Shadow) This is always one of my favorite topics

 

I can't believed I missed this.

 

(Frieza returns with the life support system and hooks Santa up)

Frieza: Ah Vegeta! You're just in time! We were about to play some 'Reindeer games'.

(Sub and Ace come in with chainsaws and blunt objects)

Ace: Here blitzon...

Sub: Come on Dasher, it'll only hurt for a second.

 

Nemo (still in Fighting Fajita get-up): THE FIGHTING FAJITA DEMANDS TO KNOW WHERE RUDOLF IS!!! THE FIGHTING FAJITA HAS BEEN WANTING TO MEET THE RED-NOSED RAIN DEAR FOR YEARS!

Sub: You spelled rein-deer wrong.

Nemo: THE FIGHTING FAJITA DENIES SUCH FOOLISH BEHAVIOR.

 

hmmmm taking a hint from IZ I think I'm going to take over Santa

*Jumps in Santa's body and gains control over it.*

That was easy.

*robo elves come out and start singing and beating people up*

O Bow Down
Bow down
To Santa
Or be crushed
Be crushed
By
His Jolly Boots of Doom

 

::gives each elf an electrical shock, short circuiting them::

C'mon, wake the fat guy up to I can keep stabbin' him

 

*Punches himself and breaks a beer bottle*

 

(Frieza slowly trickles reindeer blood over Santa's eyes)

Ace: Oo, Rudolph ain't shinin' no more!

(Santa yells prophanities about them being worse than hellspawn and twice as ugly. Fortunatly for Santa, none of the S.P.A. could understand what he was saying through his swollen tongue and mouth full of blood)

 

KA-DACK!!!

(Santa slumps in his chair, unconscious yet again with pieces of his glasses stuck into his face)

Ace: Who's ugly now, fat man? I told you not to talk about my momma!

 

*Punches himself and breaks a beer bottle* I' starting to get the feeling don't care about Satan Clause.

 

Frieza: Well, there's only 4 days left. Either they're waiting until the last minute in case their rescue plans fail, or they've given up...

 

...does this mean I can kill him yet?

 

Frieza: In 5 1/2 hours, you can do whatever you want...but I promised the Grinch there first blow.

 

(Holding corkscrew to Santa's heart)

Nemo: I suggest you make with the demand deliverin', and as mentioned in the other topic, our
list of demands is so high this year we haven't even bothered to compile a list. We expect
payment by tonight, or ol' Santa here is gonna be turned into a buffet, and none of the poor
little children will get their toys.

Vegeta: I STILL DEMAND TO KNOW WHY I WAS GIVEN COAL WHEN I WAS FIVE!!!

Frieza: Now now Vegeta... we can settle that later.

Ace: And none'a'y'all try anything funny, MAN!!! Or we'll have the fat guy's heart on a plate
faster than you can say "Ho ho ho."

Sub: Nah, probably before even "Ho ho."

Ace: Whatever.

Frieza: (Holding piece of paper) And apparently, according to Nemo, we still require, on top of
everything else, 3 hawiian islands, 5 third world countries in South Africa and the middle east, a
gallon of paint, Mars filled with syrup, and can openers allowed the rights to vote and fly in
magic tube socks without a liscense.

Nemo: Oh yeah!

 

(Chibi Shadow) ::trys something funny:: <_<

 

Yes, any last minute heroics before Santa gets probed in the most uncomfortable spot on his fat body?

....>_> ::tazers Santa::

 

(Grabs a chair and sits down, still holding cork screw.)

Nemo: I'm honestly beginning to think they don't care.

 

(Big the Cat500) *gives everything asked for*

Yay. just to see what happens.

 

12/24/2002 6:25:56 PM Looks over Big's offering)

Frieza: Hm...seems like he got most of it...deed to mars...hawiian islands...beer and beer money...

Sub: Wow...there must have been a world wide collection or something. That pile's gotta be worth more than 3 bil!...Bill Gates!

Frieza: Yes...but I'm afraid that one cat alone could not meet certain demands.

Big: Like what?

Frieza: ...um...

Nemo: What about the can openers?!

Big: We got the law passed.

Nemo: Oh...then...

Ace: And our drinks?

Big: World wide patent.

Ace: ...man...uh...

Trunks: Uh...we...(scribles something in quickly) there! The list explicitly states that 3 living sacrifices must be willingly made by members of the SASB or the SGSB in our honor!...(scribbles something else in) and that one of the girls has to lap dance for us.

Frieza: Good thinking Trunks! As for you, you have until midnight. Then the true horror shall begin...

Grinch: Ah ha ha. Ha ha ha! Ahahahahahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!!!!

 

(Big the Cat500) 12/25/2002 2:38:25 AM Uhm.
*Brings in 3 members of SGSB*
*uses ventriloquism to make it seem like they said "I SACRIFICE MYSELF IN SPAS HONOR!" and stabs them in the heart, killing them*

Ah. er. now how to do the other part..

 

*creates an exact clone of a sgsb girl who only lives to lap dance*

Arr!

 

...*watches the clone come in. Stares at it blankly then points acusingly at it*

CLLLLOOOONNNEEEEEE!!!!!

*leaps forward and literally takes off the clone's head.*

Evil Clone die now!

*kicks the head out window and tosses body in pit of a monsters in torture room.*

Frieza:Sub....why did you just kill our lapdancing girl.

Sib:she was an evil clone who couldve went evil and joined forces with Jango or Boba Fett and became a storm strooper.

Nemo:Bye-bye laplady!

Ace:Stupid Sub...

Sub:Waitatic....who the hell is Sib?

Sib:I'm not Sib I'm Sub. see says so when I get ready to talk.

Sub:No you simple minded child it says Sib... Now go on now through yourself in the pit...

Sib:Now honestly who is the real Sub? I think my friends can spot a fake! Guys who's the real Sub?

Sub:shutup cloneboy! *kicks Sib in crotch sending him flying and tackling Nemo.* Now who's really Sub?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!!?!!!

 

12/26/2002 11:40:27 AM *Pokes Sib's head*

I dunno he feels pretty real.

(Sub punches Nemo)

Sub: NOW WHO'S REAL???

Nemo: *Cough* You are...